JEEZ!!!!!.....I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN A MONTH..... WELL....WHERE DO I START....RECOVERY NEVER HAPPENED...I NEVER REALLY TRIED...I'M JUST SEEING A PSYCHOLOGIST... I WANT TO GET SMALLER.... MY FINAL DESTINATION IS TO BE COMPLETELY EMACIATED... I'M TIRED OF FEELING SO HEAVY AND BLOATED.... I'M GOING TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT... I WON'T BE SO DISGUSTING ANYMORE... ON A DIFFERENT NOTE...SOME ASS TOLD MY MOM I'VE BEEN PURGING...SO THE WOMAN CALLED ME IN TEARS...ASKING WHY I'M TRYING TO DESTROY MYSELF...TELLING ME OVER AND OVER WHY I INSIST ON HURT HER...I SAID THIS WASN'T HER FAULT...THAT I NEVER MEANT TO MAKE HER SUFFER... DAMN IT!!!...I WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER...BUT MY EATING DISORDER DOESN'T CARE...I JUST WANT TO BE THIN...AND THAT'S IT... UGH...AND I THINK I'VE HIT A NEW PLATEAU...I'M STUCK AT 85 POUNDS...EEWW...IT'S GROSS...I HAVE FAT ALL OVER...I'M FLABBY AND JIGGLY... I THINK I NEED YOU GUYS...NOW MORE THAN EVER... I FEEL SO ALONE... I'VE HAD SOME SERIOUS SUICIDAL THOUGHTS LATELY...BUT I'M TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO DO SOMETHING...SO I'VE FOUND A NEW WAY TO DESTROY MYSELF SLOWLY...RAZOR BLADES HAVE BECOME MY FRIENDS...IT'S SOOOOO SAD...I'VE ONLY DONE IT FOR A WEEK...BUT I CAN'T STOP...I HATE MY BODY SO MUCH...I JUST KEEP CUTTING MY STOMACH AND MY ARMS...EVERYDAY I KEEP MARKING MY DISGUSTING SELF... I FEEL DEAD...SO I JUST NEED TO BLEED TO KNOW THAT I'M ALIVE...TO PUNISH MYSELF FOR NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH...FOR BEING SO WEAK AND NOT FACE LIFE THE WAY I'M SUPPOSED TO... ¡¡¡A FAILIURE IS WHAT I AM!!! I GUESS I'VE FINISH RANTING FOR NOW... THANX FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ...ALTHOUGH I DOUBT SOMEONE DOES ANYMORE... ANYWAY... THOSE WHO KEEP COMMENTING AND READING ME...I LOVE YOU...AND I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL YOUR SUPPORT...I MEAN IT!!!!   WHAT THE HELL...LET'S POST SOME THINSPO...IT'S BEEN A WHILE AFTER ALL...    | 
